CRAZY, STUPID LOVE!

There has been a strong surge of emotions playing around the shores of my mind,

Ever since you called back

I fleeted across the room, smiling and hurrying;

Did I just pause in front of the mirror, tidying myself up?

Oh yes, I did!

Smoothened the crease in my shirt, pulled my hair back in a neat plait,

For you had called back.

I paced across the corridors, glancing frantically at my watch.

There were fifteen long minutes separating me from you;

Or was it too short to reach?

It seemed all the rush hour traffic had suddenly come to a halt,

As I struggled to find a lift,

I had to reach within ten now;

As you had called back

When I finally reached, I still had five; I was on time.

But you were not there, yet

My eyes searched for you across the scores of people thronging the alleys,

No you weren’t among them.

I called in desperation; you assured that you were on your way.

I waited for you, all the while on the look-out for a little glimpse of yours.

Finally my wait came to an end.

I spotted you handsomely striding among the busy streets,

I couldn’t but suppress a smile, as my heart leaped with joy at your sight!

For you had called back and here you were

But my happiness as it always is, was short lived.

Along with you, there was her too.

Yes you had brought her along;

But for me it was important that you had called back.

My jubilation ceased somewhere within,

As the love between the two of you seeped out from every pore of the being.

But I was happy, happy and sad, happy and sad and exhausted.

Exhausted fighting my feelings for you,

Exhausted trying to conceal it from you,

Exhausted failing hard to suppress them.

But you had called back and there I was.

I sat right at the opposite end of the table as you,

It wasn’t deliberate, it was habit.

Then began an hour long chat over sumptuous food

I came up many times, as you spoke to her,

I looked at her, and found her staring back at me.

At times I kept on looking at the both of you,

And couldn’t help but wonder what a nice couple the both of you made.

I found myself guilty for trying to steal a place in your heart for me.

She is hard to replace, I agree.

But you had called back and you had brought her along.

I thought- was it because you had a hint of what was going on inside my head?

But I didn’t feel insecure.

All the grievances, every pain, every fragment of longing

All met with a satisfying answer.

I can listen to you speak and  smile, your gleaming eyes reflecting your smile,

I can forget the world around.

There was this sudden calm, a lull inside of me.

Was it the sign of an impending storm?

I know not.

Sitting opposite to you and chatting with you for an hour,

It seemed that nothing else mattered,

It seemed like the happiest moment for me.

I stole a few glances of yours, careful not to drop any hint to her.

And when you left, I had this strange feeling.

Seeing you leave with her, I felt a piece of me torn apart

But I surprisingly felt complete.

I am no saint, nor are my unidirectional emotions purely unconditional

But I am genuinely happy when I find you happy.

I am not in love with you, (or am I ?)

It’s just a special feeling, these moments between us.

It’s just too overpowering to ignore, to stay away from you.

I don’t want any returns, any reciprocation

Just a call back from you, like the one today!

(Maybe it stupid, maybe it’s crazy

But that’s the idea of me being happy!)

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