I have experienced many fleeting moments of happiness.
Some which I gladly said goodbye to,
Some which I had trouble bidding adieu.
But never had I embraced happiness knowing that it would give away to gloom,someday.
Hope had a pivotal role to play in all those numerous moments of joy.
But I met with this ‘paradox’ at the bend of life,which was perfectly disordered,but somehow managed to stay afloat drifting at its own pace.
The paradox happened to be a ‘person’-
A messenger of joy,unimaginable solace.
Someone whom I could just stare at and smile.
Its been close to a year and the joy-o-meter seems to ticker happily towards the boundless.
He is the elixir of goodness-someone so pure,so serene, that just a glance of his
Sets my heart free and on a smiling spree!
The other side of this is insurmountable grief;
Once the allotted number of days comes to an end,
Life will snatch him away from me.
It took twenty four years for him to ‘happen’ to me,
To steer the course of my life in the direction of joy,
To take the reigns of my mood and drive my mind.
But he will be summoned away in a flash.
But such is his magnetism and charm,
So alluring is his divine power of spreading smiles,
That I am ready to embrace the unspeakable sorrows the future will bear for me,
Just to live in this present which has ‘him’.
For his smile is the jewel that adorns my being;
Though I am aware that life will soon rob me off my rich(es).
I can’t be brave enough to depart from him,
To shut my eyes and look away when he smiles.
I am not able to process my brain and order it to stop thinking about him.
Instead I stare at him blankly and break into a silly smile,every single time.
My life,with him in it,is full of giggles,fun and frolic.
So much so that I have never experienced it in my lifetime.
And I am selfish enough not to leave all these behind.
Willingly living in his momentary presence,only to be ripped apart when he won’t be there for me.
I may fill pages writing to him,about him.
But I can’t ever muster enough courage to ever disclose anything to him.
I am not able to look in his eyes for long-
Is it fear that I will be caught?
Is it guilt that I shouldn’t?
Or is it restraint so that I don’t fall for him any harder?
His eyes brimming with his infectious smile is the key to the never-found-before happiness.
He spreads unconditional,affectionate,heart warming smiles
And I drown into it,intoxicated with so much joyousness
That I ignore the grim future without him.
And I let the paradox elude me,as long as time permits.