A Lost Dream

Its weird how people become indifferent.

Weirder still how quick their priorities change.

There might be a hundred moments where they make you feel like you are worth a million,

But just a single moment can push you down to the lowly valleys from high up there.

 

But I want to thank that person for being indifferent to me.

Thank you because this will make it so much easier for me to get over you.

I tried to, but wasn’t being able to do so over the past year and a half

As I had no excuse.

Many who know me up close, will knit their brows in subdued anger

There were a hell lot of ‘excuses’, they would say.

I had known it all,but my mind threw caution to the wind.

For I was so used to dwell in fiction,that I believed You were the one.

When I saw my imagination taking shape in reality,

When I realized that you were the key ingredient of a perfectly made dream,

I looked past the stark realism that screamed “bargains of infidelity”.

 

You were like a gigantic wave that hit the shore of my heart,

And I lost my anchor.

I drifted along, realizing little that slowly but steadily you were eating away at the shore line.

And infiltrating into the inland where I had given refuge to select people.

Every single word that you said,I tried to do my utmost.

For I revered you.

Every single moment that was special,I celebrated it.

For I adored you.

I stood up for you even when you were not around.

For I admired you.

Days.months and a year passed..and I knew you were here to stay,forever.

You gave me a lot.

All the ‘respect’, trust, care, belief..they were sumptuous meals of joy.

 

But somewhere down the line,things changed.

I can assure you that I am still the same,but our differences grew.

What happened?

You became too occupied with work? or with people?

I am still on the search for an answer. But…

The voice that once soothed and calmed my impatience, had turned cold.

The eyes that read me so well, suddenly had started turning away.

There were days when I waited for one nod of approval,

But got chided in return.

I had started fading into oblivion.

Not one call or a mail when I called in sick.

Not any care or concern when I am depressed.

At times you look through me like I am invisible,that I don’t even exist..

And once there were times when my presence was always needed.

Now, even my sore eyes and depressed voice doesn’t draw any sympathies from you..

But six months back,you took me out for coffee.

 

Maybe I have fallen in your eyes,maybe I haven’t been able to live up to your expectations.

But today, as I stare at those countless moments that had touched my soul,

I wonder whether I had been hallucinating all along.

 

My life hit a crisis three years back,and the turmoil has been continuing ever since.

Not a single moment passes without me praying so that there are no further loss.

But little did I realize that somewhere down the line I had lost you.

 

You still remain that amazing paradox called happiness for me.

I still walk away to a corner to conceal my tears when I hear you would not be around.

I still celebrate your birthdays and other special occasions.

Still I am unable to leave without cleaning up your desk.

I have given up smiling at you every morning, but can’t do without greeting you in my mind.

Your absence still creates a void,an absolute emptiness.

And I still crave for your company.

 

Maybe nothing has changed for you and everything is on track,

But for me,I feel a part of myself has abandoned me.

I feel like I have lost my dream.

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