Muted Anguish..

It is said that a happy mind nurtures a healthy body. Turns out its true afterall.

How else do I explain this sudden bout of illness that was triggered by a series of unfortunate events that regressed from worse to worst as the day unfolded. I went from a state of anger to disbelief to denial and finally acceptance..the journey across the five stages of grief in little over 6 hours (in no particular order and skipping one).

There was so much of pain involved which got aggravated by the “do not care because you do not exist for me” attitude that I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs to drown the scathing agony. I am amazed by the transient memory holding capacity of my brain as it doesn’t seem to cease being shocked over and over.

As I pop analgesics,I wonder whether it can ever heal the bruised faith,the fallen pride..
I guess its time I stop bargaining- a lot of devotion, hard work and blind faith for a little care..I guess its time to hang up my boots and say hey its over! I am done trying. I am done trying to prove myself,trying to take guard of things,trying to give it all..I am done.

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