To be or Not to be?

When you become too attached to a person to the point that you start obsessing about them,you oversee all their shortcomings,forget all those moments you have been hurting because of them,idealize them in a silent corner of your mind. 
Days,months and years pass and then comes a point where you decide to back off because the person is just a reflection of who they used to be. It kills you within,but you steel your resolve.You deconstruct their idealism,undress their holier-than-thou garb and remind yourself of all that self loathing you went through,dismantling your self respect.
But the harder you “try”,the difficult it becomes to come out of their image. As somewhere within,you crave for the reinstatement of your beliefs.
And you think that you have found them in someone else.Even though they are poles apart.Yet you seem to find a projection of your beliefs in that someone else. And that someone else happens to be the one who cares for you,seems to protect your emotions though in a completely unconventional way,but enough to make you feel special.
You fight with your inner self as this was unprecedented,you are perhaps even embarrassed to face that someone else..not knowing how to talk,even though you are dying within to tell him stuffs,to make faces at him,soil his hands with ink,fight with him..but you can’t.
Because within you there’s this existential crisis-to be or not to be? And you wonder whether that someone else is your rebound.


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