Relationships are confusing.. Not all are blessed with the ability to invade the barrier between self and non self. And when two people exist as distinct entities in a relation, big words like compromise and sacrifice come into play.
I believe the one truly unquestionable relationship is the one we have with our parents, where we don’t need to bargain, which is the closest to being unconditional, which is the one we do not fear on losing out and the one in which we do not need to measure out equal scoops of emotion as we often get much more than we give. For an ever changing world, time and space that is the one true constant.
For every other relationship comes with a small asterisk mark on the superscript *conditions applied *. Where we need to question ourselves and redefine our identities every once in a while. For all those relationships we cannot afford to lose out on, we make a conscious effort to hold on to by compromising ourselves. We need to make sure the process of give and take is balanced. We need to thank them for every small act of their kindness lest they forget to shower it on us the very next day.
It’s very difficult to make a non genetic relationship work since you question it’s tangibility every second, you hide your true emotions to come up with make believe ones just to ensure that it doesn’t fall apart. So when you want to cry, you smile;when you want to shout, you stifle your screams. The repression of your true self for a long period of time leads to a separate identity of yours, one who is a far cry of what you actually were.
And then suddenly you come to know that the person at the other end, who might have known you for years chooses to identify you as their significantly important social circle charts out for them and all your efforts of discovering each other and helping each other grow goes down the drain. You are made to realize that whatever you have done till now has been because you thought of your “self” and it doesn’t matter if you associate your “self” with the happiness of others. You are made to realize that it is wrong to think of “self” even when it involves wanting to spend time with the other person.
And it becomes just a competition of how long one can hang on, tolerate each other. It becomes a bargain of how much more can one give. And all that for the social decorum.
So the next time you are in a relationship, think hard how you want to shape it. Be alert not to express your liking for someone because it’s a crime. And most of all do not think that they can love you and care for you as much your parents,no questions asked. And do not forget to hug your parents, as they do not understand the language of thank you’s anyways!