Life of a scholar

Ever felt like sinking into a bottomless pit? That’s how life seems to be like- shallow and burdened.
However hard you try to grab on to the sturdiest of supports,the anchor seems to slip away like
fine grains of sifted sand and you get lost somewhere in a dark,never ending nothingness.
Reasons fail,efforts stumble and suddenly you find yourself staring into a meaningless empty space.
Happiness eludes and you really have to force some smiles. Tears flow effortlessly though taking mercy on your hopelessness,to soothe your pain.
Everything that made perfect sense begins to tumble and fall apart and you find yourself
searching for something to define your existence.
Did you not follow the mandate? Were you not hardworking enough? You find yourself checking the boxes and wonder “Then why?”

You keep reminding yourself that you are waiting for your clock’s hour hand to strike golden, but
you fail to match up to the dazzling rapidity of good things the second hands provide to the
others.

So you sulk and cry and sulk some more, write long paras of self depreciating essays and essentially still end up feeling purposeless and lacking. You pause and breathe hard,but feel a
sharp niggling pain like a vital organ is dying and you realize it’s your self confidence going
downhill.
You then shut yourself out,isolate from the existing space and time and go into oblivion. Until one fine
day you find a glimmer of hope and you decide it’s time for your comeback again.

#PhD

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