Learning the art of letting go

lettinggoThey never come back the way they left you. More so if you are the only one who finds a reason for them to stay. Everything changes. From the way they used to talk to you, to the moments they thought was worth sharing. The way they look at you shouts out pity. Pity on you. You, the one who begged them to come back, to not leave because you could not do without them. And you thought this would make sense to them because, just like you, they might have had made you a part of their existence. But that’s not true, my friend.

The truth is they abandoned you and you couldn’t. They had various reasons, various clauses, various question marks and they chose to leave. You had your share too. Many things which you didn’t like, didn’t approve of, that didn’t make you happy. But you chose to stay and tried to work on it. So, it was all you. They were not the colour on your palette that you wanted to paint your life with. They were artefacts and you thought them to be the real picture.

And you better realize it soon enough. Pick yourself up and stop arranging your lives around them. Realize that they are better off without you. Soak in the fact that you cannot make someone stay when the thought of quitting you has already germinated in their minds. The actuality is that they never come back their old selves. The truth is that you needed them more than they did. The fact is that they thought you were inessential while you scampered around to fill their void.

And the truth better hit you hard because you are making your life a mess; living in a constant fear of losing them all over again, living in bargains so that they do not abandon you again. Get a grasp that they were a part of your life; do not lose yourself in the attempt of making them your life. For every word spent on them pleading, you lose your independence. The fact that you chose to give up on a substantial period of your life chasing these people shows how reliant you are on them. The fact that they didn’t reciprocate it like you would have, shows it wasn’t the same for them.

So, the choice is yours. You either cage yourself to the whims of these people, let them dictate your mood and labour it out your entire lives. Or you set them free, let the ones who want to go, go. Do not cling your existence to their transit pattern in your life. You don’t need to throw them out, just do not hold on to them when they want to shut you out. Do not be unwelcoming, just wait it out to find whether they are making any effort to crawl back. If not, they never had any intentions to stay in the first place.

Do not make their lives difficult by putting them under an obligation of unceasing tears and emotional texts. Comprehend that if these people were actually concerned for you, they wouldn’t have given you a reason to cry in the first place. Understand that they had no other choice than to concede to your jejune extortion, when they find an excuse to discover faults in you that didn’t bother them before. Realize that it’s not the life that they wanted to come back to.

You don’t want a temp, you need a full timer. Recognize that there would be no one but you to fill in that position. So never, ever, ever bet your entire survival on someone. Embrace yourselves and let them be.

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