Night of your departure…

It’s been a strange journey, these five years.. But the weirdest one was saved for the last year and a half. And it was not something I knew before I got to know you; that weird can be exhilarating! The before you version of me won’t recognize the one I am today; for I never knew what it was to be taken care of in an unconditional way, to get someone who could stand by me in my victories and failures undeterred and never blaming me, to meet someone who would defend every error of mine so that the world couldn’t point their judgemental fingers at me.

And then there was this phase too where you made me realize what pain was, what it felt like to be abandoned with the growing burdens of failures and betrayals, how brutal was indifference. But even in your indifference, even in your hurt laced words, even in your ready to criticize demeanor; you were there for me.

And then we got this chance, maybe the one that came at a mighty cost. But there we were like old times, yet different. There were new found emotions still strongly rooted to the idea of us like we started five years ago..

When you reached out for me in your hour of crisis, I knew you never left. For happiness we can share with many, sorrow and helplessness only with a select few. You made me realize that I was always in your inner circle and that you never chased me away.

Tonight as these five years of growing together and growing apart only to come back to a happy zone ends, I hope that the physical distances will only foster stronger connections of our minds. I look back at the me before you, and I stare back at a mechanical person who didn’t know how to embrace life, knew only to survive. The me-with you on the contrary, has a pulsating heart- cut open, bruised and yet throbbing majestically; soaking in the hopes of overcoming every hurdle chin up, refusing to be limited, rebelling against the situations defining her identity, knowing what it is to love and get hurt only to love back even more fiercely. I don’t want to imagine a me-after you, for I know in you I have found the one who is always going to be around..in reason, in illusions and maybe one day in person again- a forever friend.

Soar high for even the sky isn’t the limit for you. I am sure you will get back so much more that you so rightly deserve. Do remember me; for even if you don’t, I will never let you forget! For I will always remember you in my prayers and my consciousness. Everyday.

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